I feel great
I just peed on a car
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
