So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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