You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
