He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
