why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
