the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
