the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
