ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm at about main and main street
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
