Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
