quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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