You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
