writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
