If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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