I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
