I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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