I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
