You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
i am craving dick and cupcakes
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
