oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
