I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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