I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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