I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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