he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
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Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
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You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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