he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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