it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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