yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
