Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
