oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
