Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize