I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
should my penis look like a turkey
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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