dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
