actually, I'm a sock model
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
