I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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