I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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