I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
