I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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