Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize