I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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