I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
