He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
