Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize