i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
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