Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
