I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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