I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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