so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
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We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
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