i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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