can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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