I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
