Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
