his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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