I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We left an ass print on the piano.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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