I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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