you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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