you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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