Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you would pick up someone in the library
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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