Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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