Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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