He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
