he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Randomize
