Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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