My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
