discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
