I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
BRING THE BAGELS
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
