So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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